haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
