is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
