Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i've created a new STD.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize