Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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