omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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