He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
