i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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