I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
