she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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