They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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