Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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