Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
