I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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