Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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