is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
