guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize