i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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