I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
