When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
