He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
