i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
