I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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