I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
