I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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