What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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