I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
