I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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