I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
