Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
