I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
