I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
