Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
