Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
