you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
