You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
