Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize