i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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