Just cropdusted the office
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
