Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
