I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
