wanna go halves on a baby?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
