i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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