So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
