The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
