How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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