Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
