her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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