This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
