Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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