Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
