I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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