we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
