I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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