ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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