I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
