2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
