i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
