Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
