Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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