i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
