before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize