i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
